Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
