I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
