Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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