You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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