I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
