And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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