Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
