In the future we'll all be gay
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Randomize
