Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I believe in your delicious
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
