If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You ruined the universe
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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