so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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