I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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