Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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