Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
