She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
