Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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