i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
