if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
