It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize