called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
