you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
