Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
