Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
