About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
then he tried to convert me to islam
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
