Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
