I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so let's talk penis.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Randomize
