JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
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