Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
