Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
