There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
how drunk are you?
Several
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
