laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
