FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
