If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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