my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I queefed so loud it echoed.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
