i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
