I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
