i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I believe in your delicious
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
