Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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