I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So vagazzling was a success
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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