Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
