I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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