Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
