Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
