I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
