I skipped work to stalk him.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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