I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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