This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Randomize
