You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
