Christians are straight up FREAKS
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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