That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
