So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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